By Caroline Knight

Well, obviously. Fighting to thrive is an oxymoron; it sounds nonsensical. It might not be an endeavour most would consciously attempt, yet it is what so many of us are actually doing.

This may seem subjective, in that it depends on what your definition of thriving is, and that in turn may well have been flavoured by the subtle conditioning of Western culture. For example, you aim for what you think is possible within the parameters you have been programmed to accept. You were born in the woods so you don’t see the trees. I personally don’t see a lot of scope for thriving, unless you’re prepared to water down your dreams, or - as the title suggests - fight for a spot at the top.

For many, thriving is as simple as having a healthy body. Great if you can, but as a sole focus it’s a bit myopic. I would guess that for most, the basis of thriving would look like not having to worry about the constraints of the insidious financial (control) system on a daily basis. As a rough translation, that probably just means freedom: freedom of choice in general, and primarily, the freedom to say no to what you don’t want, and yes to what you do. For many, the equation would simply be: I want the freedom to be creative, whenever I want.

Sadly, the only possibility for this is if you already have financial freedom, or your creative pursuits become a commodity in a world that primarily rewards corporate pursuits. Still, the creative impulse dies hard, and for the die-hard rebels who abhor the idea of swallowing their authenticity to jump to the beat of a corporate tune, that equation is simple too: thrive or die.

Toughen up, Buttercup

Even more sadly, if that is the situation you find yourself in, you had better have a competitive streak, or be so talented and so ‘niche’ that competition doesn’t really come into it. This is a digital world now, like it or not - you guessed it, I don’t - so success is almost always tied in with digital ‘presence’ and a whole lot of time spent proving yourself digitally. I say this as someone who has actually succeeded at doing that many times in life; I’m no whining victim, but I am acknowledging the struggle this world inevitably brings to peace-loving creatives. We are not competitive by nature, which should tell us something, but in this world, ‘success’ often demands that you toughen up, Buttercup.

Here’s the thing though: it has slowly been dawning on me over the last while that perhaps, if there is a point to existing as a human, it is not actually to ‘thrive’ or ‘win’ at all. Maybe that applies to everyone. It would be easy to dismiss that off-the-cuff, depending on your world view, of course. Anyone who is generally having a great time, with pounds in their pockets (or should I say numbers on their screens), won’t give this a lot of thought. We tend not to widen the lens when we’re not particularly uncomfortable. We also tend to consider our own comfort but only give fleeting acknowledgments to the discomfort of those we don’t personally know. Another subtle victory for the dividers and conquerors.

I think it’s important to ask ourselves whether we are more committed to comfort or truth though, and be really honest about the answer. On the whole I’d say that a lot of the cries of “Conspiracy!” and the like, spring from the unconscious need to retain one’s personal sense of security at all costs.

It’s all for your benefit!

I will admit that I bought that story for a long time myself, but I smelled the coffee eventually and now I see how dangerous and unfair this perception is to life’s more obvious victims. The spiritually-minded tend to assume (or let’s be real - swallow the new-age programming) that this world is some kind of school. Under that mentality, of course ‘lessons’ are necessary, and adversity and struggle are to be expected. We even go as far as to attribute any phases of thriving we encounter to having overcome the hardships of that process. All well and good, except we are usually looking solely through the personal filter of our own narrow, culturally-induced expectations and the experiential parameters it allows for.

What I am getting at is this: your own thriving, or possibilities for thriving, have less to do with your polished hurdle-jumping skills and more to do with the circumstances and culture you were born into. Not in all cases, no, but in so many. Let’s not inadvertently victim-blame those who don’t stand a chance, and let’s be realistic about the ratios those people make up outside of our own immediate bubbles.

Let me give you some examples: the autistic person bound to a wheelchair for life. The child who lost their entire family in an instant in Gaza, or in a car crash on the M1. The family living in an Indian slum with rubbish dump pickings as their only prospects. The child blinded by its parents so that it would be able to beg effectively. The families starving to death in Africa, unable to obtain the basics of clean food or water. The homeless crack addict from a downbeat neighbourhood who was coerced as an innocent, is so hopelessly hooked that even if they believed another way was possible, their addiction reigns supreme. How about a lion in a zoo? I could go on.

This is not a locational issue, although some locations probably have more opportunities for suffering. Suffering is on a spectrum, and the circumstances don’t even need to be particularly dire, just generally unacceptable and not subject to change according to the constraints of the society (or lack thereof) in question. Most importantly, just because you can and do overcome personal suffering and feel stronger for it, I posit that this is more a testament to the power of your unchanging essence and should not be considered justification for the causes of suffering. How many times do you need to suffer to feel powerful? In short, the world is not a school and you are not a masochist.

You’ve done nothing wrong

This is not a spiel about privilege. I can certainly testify to the fact that struggle is relative, especially on an emotional level. Nor am I suggesting that we should feel guilty about the plight of others and attempt to remedy it; aside from being as compassionate as you can, day-to-day, that is. I am suggesting that the issue is fundamental and not subject to manipulation by well-wishers. I think the state of the world in general is more than enough evidence to support my perspective, but I am acknowledging that we get so lost in the quagmire and minutiae of our own daily lives we forget one glaringly obvious detail:

At least some of the time, and usually a fair proportion of it overall, we are struggling with something, be it physically or emotionally. We have problems to solve. Often. Heavy stuff. And even when we don’t, our neighbour does, or their cat gets run over, or some other unpleasant thing. Whether you deny it entirely, consider it due to the fundamental spiritual construction of this place, or blame it on nameless, faceless, soulless creatures running the world’s main systems and institutions, it doesn’t make too much difference. The point is, on balance, it is obvious humans don’t have it as good as they think they do.

While they are lost in the fight to thrive, and particularly the fight to survive, it is almost guaranteed that they will not see the bigger picture here. Please don’t mistake this for innate cynicism; you might be surprised at the low level of my cortisol, given my incontrovertible trait: realism.

It might seem like the only solution is… drumroll… world peace through political reform. Please, let’s not be so naive. That has never and never will happen. Then we have the new age with its promises of ascension and utopia, if we can just ‘this’ or ‘that’, or if we just wait for the nameless, faceless saviour to come and lift us up to the dimension where we no longer have to deal with the forces of adversity. At least they admit there’s something to be saved from, I guess.

The lion will continue to tear apart the antelope

I think it’s about time we all admitted that the forces influencing the systems that deal in invisible chains are not going to change their nature. The hear-no-evil crowd may be hell bent on listening to their internal jukeboxes instead, but if reality is objective (in its structure and physical laws, at least) then it makes no difference what we think of it. Let’s just look at the evidence, beyond our front gate, and let’s not ask our beloved Google to throw us its top five search results as definitive evidence that everything is OK.

I postulate that these forces cannot and will not be changed; that humans are not all cut from the same cloth, spiritually speaking, and thus the ruthless systems and agendas will continue to exist in opposition to our nature. Lions will not become vegans, and the world is not going to change because enough of us sang to the heavens on a mountain top. Even trampling through capital cities by the hundreds of thousands doesn’t achieve a lot, evidently. It is not going to change because it is as it is meant to be. That’s the tough pill to swallow.

The appropriate response will not be to run away from the system or to try to set up circumstances outside of its control - tempting as this is. There is nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide, not really, or not permanently… and what about the others? Likewise, let’s not think that we can successfully ‘love’ the perpetrators out of the equation, navigate them, or negotiate our way to a better world. I don’t mean that we should be apathetic, and roll over and comply with insidious controls either; quite the opposite. ‘Voting’ with your actions (not a ballot) is just a matter of authenticity; enough said there.

Widen the lens

I truly think humanity needs to honestly analyse what we are doing here in this world. We need to take the focus up a level, beyond the 3D. If you can conceive that possibly, just possibly, this place is actually as it was designed to be, you’ll start to see the futility of wrestling with its senseless and rigid systems in order to ‘thrive’.

I understand the impulse, of course; I personally do not want to be miserable, and I’m resourceful and settled enough in myself to not be. I would like to say that is regardless of circumstances, but let’s be honest: I don’t live on a rubbish dump in Hyderabad, and if I suddenly did, I wouldn’t be so chipper about it. I have actually been fortunate enough to travel there for work, and unfortunate enough to see up close just how awful it is for the people that do.

I have my own personal challenges to contend with, some of which still have no palatable solutions in sight, and yet I can still smile and laugh most days. That doesn’t mean I think all these so-called ‘life lessons’ did me a favour. No, I think I was switched on even as a kid, and I stayed that way because that is the way I am; the magnificent fortitude of my spirit meant that I stayed who I am despite those things. Big difference.

The bottom line is that I don’t want to fight to thrive in a world that I feel is set up for most of us to fail, except for the apparent ‘fortunate few’ who live on mega-yachts and oysters, etcetera. I would argue that they exist to heighten the sense for the rest of us that a) we are personal failures (ouch) and b) there is hope! HOPE!!! Thank ‘God’ for hope, eh? That wonderful thing that ensures we put up with crap for eternity. I’m being a little facetious, but hey, ask Pandora.

Don’t pray and don’t be prey

Despite my awareness of what I consider to be a sick (and heavily programmed) society, that same spiritual fortitude made for a warrior-like nature. I may be able to fight, and I do when I have to, but I am no longer prepared to prostrate myself to ‘succeed’ in a world that doesn’t even give me criteria or parameters that make sense to me. I will survive, no doubt, but if I thrive it is probably because I offer something unique and attract naturally.

That will be the only reason, because I am not the type to bang my head against a brick wall, nor stifle my authenticity to fit in or make things work. I am not hypnotised by this world, I am irreligious but not atheist; I am turned off by ‘spiritual’ new age naivety, and I do not have the programmed service-to-self mentality that requires that I battle my way to shallow victories in a place I cannot call home.

Without getting into the complexities of my personal gnosis – note gnosis, not beliefs, as I will not claim to believe what I have not in some way experienced – I have come to the following conclusion:

A lifetime of relentless analysis of self and the world, combined with a desire for truth, no matter how ugly, has shown me that it is not a worthy ambition to prioritise ‘doing well’ in the world (though we all should have the right to not suffer in poverty). This actually leads to a spiritual blindness that could have dire consequences. If I run that gauntlet then I have succumbed to the hypnosis of this world.

If I am always chasing fleeting happiness, I have succumbed to the victimhood of this world, as I have fallen prey to its madness. Even if I must suffer for my stubbornness, I will not pray (there are clues in the word), and I will not outsource my power to some unknown deity. I will not beg for mercy in a world that generally withholds it. And yet, I know that I will be alright, because I am so much more than this meat suit, and I have worked hard to remind myself that I can depend on me. That, I have to say, is its own form of thriving.

Fighting to Thrive is an Oxymoron: Why do it?